Do ever come across those blog posts that bang on about writers having the freedom to work from anywhere they fancy?
They’re usually accompanied by a photo of someone with a laptop, who’s perched on a rock surrounded by sparkling blue sea with a beautiful, sandy beach as a backdrop.
And the author will gush about how great it is to be able to work outdoors, from an Internet cafe or at home in your pyjamas.
Perfect eh? Well, not so much. I’ve tried it and that kind of setup hasn’t worked for me.
I live and work in a country that’s hot in the summer and has beaches and sparkly seas. I don’t live on the coast but, if I wanted to, I could jump into the car and scoot off down to Malaga.
But, knowing my luck, if I perched on a rock with my laptop I’d tumble into the bloody water and kill my laptop.
Ever sat outside when it’s 40 degrees Celsius? It’s not pleasant.
Every time I’ve tried sitting out on my terrace with my laptop I can’t see the screen for the glare of the sun. No, much better to stay in for three months with the air conditioning set to ‘pretend we’re in the Arctic’.
Oh, yes what joy. I wish I had the time, but I have to work from home.
When I get up from my desk, it’s not because I want to take a break from looking and feeling like the hunchback of Notre Dame, it’s because I have to grab the mop or toilet brush and make some attempt at keeping the house free from bacteria.
For me, a break means multitasking – gulping down a mug of tea with one hand and using the other to throw together something tasty for lunch.
Working in your pyjamas
Yes, well. As I said it’s hot here in the summer, so… I don’t wear pyjamas.
I don’t think working in the buff would be such a good idea because, at my age, leaning over my desk without my M&S hold ‘em high bra means it’s not only my hands that are on the keyboard. It’s not a pretty sight.
I do a lot of internet shopping too, so I have to get dressed so I don’t shock the poor postman.
Lastly, although it might not be a good idea to admit this, I’m lucky if I get 3Mb internet speed (and when it rains, the electricity goes off).
Ah, well, it’s not paradise, but at least I’ve got a lovely view!