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A Left Handed Funeral

Some things are best not left to chance


Left hander Steve has long championed the cause for the 10 % of the population for whom everything is the wrong way around.

Most of us are moderately right handed, blissfully unaware that there is a whole spectrum of handedness. The world has been built up around people like us and we have no idea what it must be like to be on the extreme left end of the spectrum.
Fortunately Steve’s outgoing, friendly nature and a big sense of humour sees him challenge these problems, promoting change and understanding for his fellow left handers. Steve has also planned his biggest promotion of all things left handed, literally saving the best for last. In a move greeted with much hilarity and the response from friends “that’s typical of you Steve”, he has planned with a local funeral director, his left handed funeral.Steve faces a wide range of obstacles to which right handers wouldn’t give a second thought. A cashpoint where the keypad and his PIN are visible to anyone standing nearby, pens on the counter inside the bank chained to the wrong side. Steve can’t use the new supermarket self-scanners, and although he has his own left handed keyboard and mouse, but cannot use a public computer.

Keep Left

The director has promised to source a left hand drive hearse, and will get highway signage instructing guests to “keep left”. The order of service will be “mirror written” with the text back to front, reading right to left, how Steve learnt to write by mirroring right handed writers. There will be a dramatic reading of Judges 20 from the Old Testament, a tale of 700 left handed Benjaminites destroying an army of 22,000 Israelites.

Golden Charter

Whilst creating something special for his send off, Steve also wanted to make sure there would be no worries for his family with the arrangement or finances for his funeral. Having recently had a poor experience with a national chain when arranging his mother’s funeral, Steve was determined that his family would not have the same experience. He called on the family owned directors attracted, by the bright, inviting frontage—no foreboding tombstones in the window, no sombre etched glass, just a bright, comfortable space with the friendliest of welcomes.
Steve went through all his plans with a specialist funeral planning advisor, together working out the best options and prices. Steve decided on taking out a Golden Charter Funeral Plan, safe in the knowledge that his final set piece is in place with the funeral directors’ costs covered.

“Leave your friends and loved ones with feelings of warmth, love and joyful memories with XYZ Funerals, and a Golden Charter Funeral plan removing all the stress and anxiety”.                                  

Mike Howell